5 Things I Learned my Freshman Year of College

College is what you make of it. 
College is a lot different than high school. If you don't want to do your homework, you don't have to. If you don't want to go to class, you don't have to. If you don't want to hang out with friends you don't have to. That being said, your college experience is really what you make of it. You do not have anyone there to tell you to go to class or do your homework and your mom isn't there to wake you up in the morning. If you want to succeed in college, you have to work at it yourself. If you want friends in college, you cannot just sit in your dorm room all the time, you have to get out there. I urge you to  at least make a mental list of all the things you want to accomplish in college and then set out to make those things happen.

You will third wheel with your friends and that's ok.
I ended up third-wheeling my best friends probably about 70% of the time. And you know what? I loved it. Maybe that's because two of my best friends were dating each other but in any case, it can be fun. At first, I started to get extremely down on myself, wondering why they weren't the ones third-wheeling me, however when you change your attitude, it can actually become extremely entertaining. Learn to be friends with whoever your friends are dating. Trust me it will save you many boring and envy-consumed outings. So do yourself a favor. Relax and have fun. And just because you don't have a significant other right now, doesn't mean you never will.

Call home like every day. 
Your parents want to know what/how your doing. That's pretty much common sense. But something I did not realize until I got to college was that updating your parents on whats going on in your life is actually very fulfilling. I talked on the phone with my mom at least every other day my entire first year of school and it was great. She knew all of my school struggles, my plans, and my drama. Because you are now an adult, your parents cannot force you to do anything however they give great insight into your life decisions. Let your parents become your best friends and tell them everything.

It is ok to not participate in every single social activity.
Let me share with you a little secret. College is full of social activities. Ok that's not really a secret but what I didn't know before coming to college was the fact that there is always a party going on somewhere and someone always wants to hang out. I'm not kidding when I say that I could have probably filled my time 24/7 with social activities. There is always something to do. That being said, you need to learn that it is ok to say no to hanging out with your friends once in a while. There is a fine line between having no friends, and failing all of your classes because you were too busy partying. If you say yes to every hang out in college, you will find yourself not having any time for school (which is the real reason we are in college in the first place). Sometimes you need to turn down the YOLO mindset just a little bit because, yes sometimes it seems like you need to live every moment to the fullest and hang out with friends, however we need to remember that our responsibilities are part of living a fulfilling life.

You do not have to be best friends with everyone.
You will meet A LOT of people in college. At the beginning of my freshman year, I probably met at least 5 new people a day. While its good to have an open mindset, it isn't good to expect that you will become best friends with everyone you meet. By the end of freshman year I probably had 15 phone numbers in my contact list from people I only met once. Get used to introducing yourself, where you are from, and what your major is because I probably said those things at least 100 times my first two weeks of college.
Do not expect to have the same views and ideas about the world that everyone else does. You will meet some very different people at college. You do not have to be best buddies with them but you do however need to respect their ideas and be kind.

What if it was your Brother?

 My little brother loves Star Wars. He is a basketball champion and a chess master. He always shares his presents and candy with everyone. He will spend all of his allowance money just so he can buy my mom flowers for Mother’s Day. He is 12 years old. His name is Sean. He is Korean. And because of abortion, he may have not existed.

 Abortion should be illegal in the United States because of the immorality of it, the opportunity of adoption, and the right that all Americans have to life. Now before I dive into my reasons why, I need to make something clear. When I am referring to abortion in this paper, I am excluding abortion in the case of rape, incest, and danger to the mother. I personally believe those are the exceptions. Everything else is murder. Here is why.

Now, back to my brother. My little brother Sean was adopted from South Korea when he was 5 months old. His mother placed him in foster care just days after he was born. Because it was a foreign adoption, my family does not know all of the details on why his birth mother decided to give him up. Despite this, we are forever grateful to her for putting my little brother up for adoption rather than have an abortion because it means I can have my little brother. Technically, abortion in South Korea is illegal but it is still common for women to do it themselves or have illegal procedures done.

 A lot of times people look at abortion just through the minds of the mothers and only concern themselves with the mother’s feelings. But what about all of the women who are unable to have their own children? What about the agony they have gone through while they have waited for that pregnancy test to turn positive? My older sister Natasha died a stillborn. She was full term and my mother had to deliver her as if she was alive. But she wasn’t. That brought my mother so much pain to hold her dead baby in her arms after a 9-month long period of excitement for her future family. It makes me sad that women still choose to willingly kill their babies when other women want to have one so desperately. There are thousands of willing couples who are looking to start their family but are physically unable to. Now, I understand that not all environments are ideal for bringing a baby into. For example, the mother might have to raise the child in poverty, without a father, or in a rough part of the world. Despite this, there are many families that are able to care for these children. Even if the children do not get adopted by the time they are 18 isn’t it better for them to have a life full of hope rather than no life at all?

I agree with most people that when you kill a person, it is murder. You are taking away their life and the potential that they could have fulfilled in the future. Murder is inherently wrong and I don’t think many people disagree with that statement. Now what if I said that since 1973, there have been over 50 million murders of innocent people. That is almost nine times the amount of Jews who died in the Holocaust. If we honored each of those people with a moment of silence, we would be silent for over 100 years. Ok now I know what you are thinking. You might jump back with the argument that these aborted babies are not human.  However, a human heart begins to beat just 18 days after it is conceived. If we pronounce someone dead at the time their heart stops beating, why don’t we pronounce them alive when it starts. When you kill a pregnant woman, you are committing a double homicide, so if the baby counts as living then, why doesn’t it count when the mother kills it? Now that we have established that the baby is living after 3 weeks into the pregnancy, there shouldn’t be any question whether abortion should be legal after 3 weeks. What about abortions before 3 weeks? Technically, yes, the baby is not alive yet. But, there is still the potential to create a whole new life. A whole person with their own dreams, fears, and goals. How could we take all of that away from someone?

Just because a child spent time in foster care does not mean they will have a life full of misery. There have been many famous figures who were adopted, including Bill Clinton, Steve Jobs, Babe Ruth, and Marilyn Monroe, just to name a few. Even President Clinton, a Democrat, said, “Perhaps there is no greater miracle than finding a loving home for a child who needs one.” There are about 135,000 children adopted in the United States every year. There are about 125,000 abortions in the United States every day. It should not be harder to save a baby then it is to kill one.

            Abortion goes against everything that America even stands for. In the Declaration of Independence, it states that we all have a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. When these babies are aborted, we are taking away their right to life. In America, we always say that “we are born free, but when we kill these babies, we make it so they are not even free to be born”-Anonymous.

“ The mother does not get to choose whether or not her baby gets his/her rights. The mother had a choice-her choice to have sex. I guess you could say that we are all pro-choice. We had the choice to choose birth control or abstinence. Having the baby is the consequence, not the choice. When a person murders someone, they do not get to choose whether or not they go to jail. When a woman gets pregnant, she cannot choose if she wants to give birth to it. Sure it is the woman’s body and she can choose what she does with it, but the baby inside her is not her body. It has its own organs, thoughts, feelings, and DNA. After conception, it is no longer just the woman’s body, therefore she does not get to decide what to do with the baby at that point. The baby has their own set of rights that are clearly violated when they are killed. Ronald Reagan once said, “I’ve noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born”. These babies cannot fight for their lives and so we need to do it for them.

            What about if the baby is going to be severely disabled or basically a vegetable because they will not even have brain activity. Is abortion ok then? Still no. A person is a person even if they cannot respond to the world around them. Many people supporting abortion say that when a baby is born with no brain activity, they are technically not still a person but I disagree. To illustrate my point, I would like to share a story of a family from American Fork, Utah. Charity Yorgason was born without a brain. Yes you read that right. She was born with no cerebrum or cerebellum, just a brain stem at the base of her skull. Because the brain stem controls your autonomous nervous system, Charity was still able to breathe and her heart could still beat. However, because she had no brain, she could not see, hear, talk, have her own thoughts, or even feel touch. Many people questioned why the parents didn’t choose to abort her because she would have a life full of misery. However, I firmly believe that Charity was an angel sent straight from heaven. Whether you are a religious person or not, there is not a doubt that she taught this family about love, selflessness, and compassion. Maybe that was her real purpose on this Earth.  The family remarked that they knew that Charity had a spirit inside of her body. She could sense when something was going wrong in the house and she would react to different types of music. She would still smile and chuckle because those can be involuntary actions. Most babies with anacephaly (being born missing part or all of the brain) do not even live to be a day old. Charity, however, lived to be eight years old. Her story is proof that even someone without a brain is still human. They can still feel joy and teach others vital lessons. She proves that no life should go to waste and everyone has a purpose here, whether they can even realize it or not. This family she grew up with was not her blood related family but her adopted family. I realize that not all families are well equipped to take care of a baby with such extreme disabilities but my point is that there is a family out there that is willingly to take care of these disabled children.

            No life should end before it even starts. We should not murder babies in fear that they might one day be abused or mistreated. Every life matters and every person can make an imprint on the world. This is a miracle, not a burden. No baby should be killed because they are inconvenient or came at the wrong time. Mother Teresa once said, “We must not be surprised when we hear of murders, of killings, of wars, and of hatred. If a mother can kill her own child, what is left but for us to kill each other. A nation that kills its children in the womb has lost its soul.” I would love to keep talking about reasons why abortion should be illegal, but I need to go call my little brother.

I thought I could Fly

            I heard my Dad’s old Saturn pull up into the drive way, as Barbie and Ken played out a great story I had created. As soon as I heard the old front door creak open, I ran upstairs and jumped into my Dad’s arms. It was time for “Birdy”.

            In order to explain “Birdy” fully, I must first tell you about my personality as a little kid. My mom always said that when she gave birth to me, I came out doing somersaults. I used to get in trouble for jumping on my bed long after my parents tucked me in. I spent hours jumping on the trampoline. I used to find secret ways to get on the roof of my house even though my parents told me not to. Every adult always said, “You are such a little monkey”. I once jumped onto a big lamp hoping I could swing on it but instead it came crashing to the ground. I was put into gymnastics during preschool and automatically excelled. I was always happy and was so spunky and active. I would fall asleep doing just about anything and my dad had to carry me to bed almost every night. I had the wildest imagination. I would spend entire days as a cat or a princess. I was not an ordinary kid. I could fly.

            In order to practice my flying abilities, I decided I would play “Birdy” every day. As soon as my dad got home from work, he would proceed to the bottom of our six-stair landing and I would back up into the kitchen, run about 15 feet to the edge of the top stair, jump off, and flap my little wings as hard as I could. My dad would always be at the bottom to catch me-which kind of annoyed me because he was stopping me from truly experiencing my flight. I then ran back up the stairs and repeated the process multiple times. I was close to being able to fly on my own. Even gravity couldn’t hold me back. I was determined to succeed. It was time to take off.

            On the day of departure, I prepared myself for my journey. Without anyone in my family knowing, I took a running leap off the stairs and flapped as hard as I could. Not quite as hard as a hummingbird but more like a sparrow.  For a couple moments it was pure bliss. I looked down and I could see the tiny buildings and cars driving by. I looked up and I saw the clouds, puffy and white. And then, it happened. I realized I was falling. I flapped my wings even harder, but to no avail. I saw the brown carpet coming closer and closer. Gravity got the best of me and I fell, hit the 4^th stair, and tumbled all the way down (which is quite a far way for a 4-year-old). As I lay at the bottom of the stairs in a crumpled heap, head throbbing, I felt defeated. Why hadn’t it worked? Were my wings not strong enough? Drowning in my own thoughts, I did not even notice my dad patting me on the back. “Chorus, why did you jump down the stairs?” Lip quivering and chin trembling I replied, “I…I thought I could fly”.

Once my dad knew I was all right, he proceeded to chuckle. My faced turned red. I was both embarrassed and angry. My dreams were crushed. I couldn’t fly. In my mind, I had imagined myself as a bird, therefore I was a bird. I had told myself I could fly so many times that I began to believe it was true. Was I too gullible and naive? No I do not think that is it. I had great confidence. I had dreams and I always tried to shoot for the stars. This experience defined my outlook on life.

Although this experience taught me that I cannot literally fly, it represented what I strive to be every day. Throughout my life, I have always tried to be the best I can be.  I earned good grades in school and I exceled in sports. In high school, I was an amazing singer, cross country runner, and tennis player. I fought for things like a great ACT score or the internship I received at a hospital in my hometown. I strived to do everything I could to get accepted into BYU and succeeded. I am now doing everything I can to be accepted into the nursing program and after that, to be the best nurse I can possibly be. It has been ingrained in my brain from a young age that I can do anything I set my mind to.

I have always been confident. It is part of who I am. I always knew I could do big things. When given the opportunity to sing a solo in front of hundreds of people, I took it. When given the chance to jump out of a plane, I did it. I know I can succeed if I just set my mind to something. Even as a little kid I knew I could fly. At that time, I thought it was literal but as I grew older I found it was more metaphorical. I started running cross country in high school without ever having run before. I wanted to learn how to play the ukulele so I got one for Christmas and have been practicing since. I hate being told I cannot do something. This has become very helpful throughout my life as I have done hard things.

 During the winter of my sophomore year, I really started to struggle with anxiety. There was one particular weekend in January that I lost about 15 pounds in 3 days. I could not eat because my anxiety made me feel physically sick. None of my pants fit. Even with a belt, the pants I could wear in 6^th grade were falling down. I knew I needed help. With the help of my parents, I scheduled an appointment with a psychologist. I did what she told me to and took the medicine she prescribed. I made sure I never stayed home from an activity for fear that I might have anxiety. I have had friends and family members with anxiety who refuse to take their medicine because they want to be “normal”. I understand that the only way I can be “normal” is to take my medicine. While they struggle through their anxiety, I am doing great and haven’t had anxiety as bad as that one weekend in January ever since. Today I can proudly say I have almost completely beaten my anxiety.

From the very beginning of my diagnosis, I knew I could get better if I really tried. I did everything I could to help myself. Even in the midst of this trial, I still had my “bird” mentality that I could do anything I set my mind to. Although this was just one trial of many that I have gone through in my life, this mentality of never giving up and flying as high as I can has helped me immensely. I know that no matter what life throws at me, I can get through it with a smile.

 Despite the hardships of my life, I have always tried to have a positive and happy outlook. One of my favorite quotes says, “I’m looking up because that is where I want to be”. My desire to fly as a little kid was just an analogy of my life. Jumping down the stairs and flapping my wings was just the beginning.